Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Elevated Reflections

Today was the day that the dog did get stuck in the lift.  He (enter: dog) is a 10 week old Viszla puppy with serious separation anxiety, so this accidental elevator-imprisonment was really not to his disorder any good.  The outing was intended to be a trip to the vet for his second lot of jabs, at present he is still too little to go out and about in case he picks up canine 'flu or whatever super-bug pooches are prone to at such a tender age.

Now this little laddie happens to done as his feline friends tend to, and that is land on his feet: removed from his native Durham and brought to Kensington for a taste of the puppy good life. When he eventually made it to his vet appointment he got given a swag bag which included sample puppy grub but mostly flyers for the local dog services which (and I kid you not) included information on where to find a doggie therapist which I believe may come in handy as to prevent any later law suits for when he sues us for damages for the trauma he went through whilst in lift purgatory.

How it happened was this: bold as brass with his new harness on and not yet in his carry-case he darted forward into said lift.  Lift doors begin to close and a foot is put forward to re-open the doors.... yet they continue to close.  In blind panic and thought of the dog on the inside, owner holding lead on the other, doors close entrapping lead and lift moves off strangling dog in its wake.... the lead is thrown in with the dog.  So we just push the button and the doors re-open.  They re-open right?  Just push the button!

The lift remains right there with doors closed; us on one side, puppy on the other.  The dog starts to howl, yap, yap, howl.  

Enter two porters, a retiring security chap and eventually the lift man.  Mr Lift Man fixes the problem by jumping onto the lift from above.  I thought only Leon did things like that.  So 35 minutes in and pup gets rescued by a budding trained killer Frenchman.

Things I thought during the doggy drama:

Could I use this as an excuse to get out of this afternoon's interview?
Isn't this actually quite funny?
Has the dog had an accident in the lift?*
Will the lift smell forevermore if he has, and will this be detrimental to the relationship with other flat-holding lift users?
Will  I still have time to find an internet cafe and print out the Pizza Express voucher before I meet my friend for lunch?
How long before he runs out of oxygen?
Would there be significantly less air-time if there were a person in there with him (taking into account that he wouldn't be barking as much)?
Should we in future take the stairs?*
Now we are waiting about for the engineer should I pop back to the flat and get my lipstick?
Should I take a jacket?
Will the dog be scarred for life?*

I didn't use it as an excuse to get out of the interview, although I may have mentioned it as a bit of an ice-breaker/deal-breaker and I don't wonder why I haven't been called back.  We don't think that he is scarred for life as he perked up the second he was out.  I have continued to use the lift bar the first time after the event.  I noticed how immaculate the stairwell is.  I really should have got the jacket and the gooey lipstick made my hair stick to my lips as I chatted up/got chatted up by the handsome chugger (I have only just learnt this word) in Covent Garden.

And no, he didn't make a mess in the lift.